Blog 08: So you have some news to share
By: Abby Custer
Deciding both when and who to share your pregnancy with is a big decision. You may be bursting at the seams with both excitement and nerves, wanting to tell everyone right away.
Or maybe you are still processing this momentous occasion and aren’t quite ready for the world to know about the life you are growing inside of you.
There’s truly no right or wrong answer. Many people choose to wait until the second trimester, because the risk of miscarriage drops significantly (typically, there is less than a 5% chance of miscarriage at this point). On the other hand, it can be very helpful to have people to confide in about how you are feeling (both physically and emotionally), so choosing to share your news early on can be beneficial as well. Whether you are feeling anxious or overjoyed, having a positive support system to confide in is key.
Ultimately, the decision is up to you and there’s no set timeline of who to tell when. If it feels like the right time, then it probably is!
With all of my pregnancies, my husband and I chose to tell our families after our eight week ultrasound. I think I needed the reassurance that I was indeed pregnant and that the baby’s growth was on track as it should be. There was also something really special about having that news be just ours for a bit. Once I hit 12 weeks or so (the end of the first trimester), our secret was shared with close friends, and then eventually made it to various social media platforms. There’s no turning back after you make your news “Facebook official,” but the wave of congratulatory remarks will no doubt leave you with a big smile on your face. There’s also the relief of no longer having to “keep a secret,” and if you are anything like me, your belly may be starting to give you away anyhow!
There are so many fun ways to share your news. Pinterest is a great place to start, especially if you want to involve creative photos with a pet or siblings (Check out a few of these cute ideas below). But a simple phone call is just as special, especially when it is met with equal excitement and joy.
Depending on your circumstances, it’s possible that your news may be met with something less than a joyful response, and maybe you’re feeling hesitant to share your pregnancy with others for that exact reason. And that’s okay. I think in this situation, the best thing you can do is to keep your expectations low and do your best to not allow that person to take away any of your joy. There’s nothing worse than being excited one minute and completely deflated the next.
It’s helpful to remember that many have walked this path before you. There is no greater story in the bible of an unplanned pregnancy and the tricky timing of when to share this news than of Mary, the mother of Jesus. But I also can’t help but think about Jochebed, the mother of Moses. If you are unfamiliar with her story, she had no choice but to keep her son hidden for three months in order to save him from Pharaoh’s decree that all Jewish male children would be killed. Jochebed sent her precious baby down the Nile River in a woven basket, hoping that someone would find him and care for him. As He always does, God had a plan all along because Moses was found by Pharaoh’s daughter, who Jochebed worked for, and was therefore also able to (secretly) care for her own son. Talk about tremendous faith and an amazing God who “in all things, works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purposes!” Romans 8:28
Whatever your situation, God has placed you here at this time for a reason. And even if this timeline isn’t the one that you had imagined for your life, there is still cause for happiness and excitement in that space. Aside from the joy found in Christ, the joy found in a new life is something unmatched on this earth. Celebrate your news in the way that works best for you! At Compass, we are here to celebrate with you, as well as mourn disappointments with you. Because even when others can’t see it, we know that God has a bright and beautiful future in store for you and your new baby.
“I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.” Psalm 16:9