When its Hard to Share Your News

Written by Abby Custer

Do you need to share the news of your unexpected pregnancy and it feels impossible?

It’s never easy to feel like we’ve disappointed someone.

Perhaps you’re a college student. You have a good relationship with your parents and they’ve never been more proud of you. However, you’re worried about how they will react to your unplanned pregnancy, or if they will even speak to you again.

Or maybe you are in a long-term relationship with someone and they’ve made it clear that they have no interest in becoming a parent. You feel like this news may end your relationship.

Or you’re in the prime of your career and you’ve hit that sweet spot where your hard work is finally paying off. It’s not a good time to have a major life change. You think that your boss may question your commitment to the company.

Whatever the reason, it’s difficult but important to make space for other people’s reactions to your news.

Maybe you’re a little like me, a people pleaser. I don’t like to disappoint people. Which can sometimes be a good thing, but it can also take its toll when the disappointment is a big one.

The truth is that the news of an unplanned pregnancy may create tension in any relationship. But when it comes to relationships that are worth

saving, even the biggest disappointments or changes can be worked out. Sometimes the hardest part is just getting the conversation started.

Remember that you can do this hard thing.
 It may not feel pleasant at the time, but I promise that once it’s over, the release of what has been building up will feel so sweet. Sharing your news can also give you the opportunity to move on to the next part of this journey, to feel something more than the fear of what others will think. Easier said than done, I know.

And oftentimes, we fear the worst. I guess it’s a defense mechanism because in the end, we’ve often prepared

ourselves for something much worse than the actual reality. It’s kind of like when my five year old son gets a splinter. Typically, he psychs himself out to the point of hysteria, not even realizing that I’ve already removed the splinter and the pain is over.

It’s like that with Jesus, too. We’re never too far removed from the cross. We can always come and lay our burdens down at his feet, and oh what a sweet release when we do. We don’t have to carry it all, and that includes trying to please everyone. If you’d like support in getting a difficult conversation started, reach out to us at Compass. We’re here for the hard things too.


“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28